Last week, as those of you who were here will hopefully remember, we read 1 Timothy chapter 2. This chapter is perhaps one of the most well-known — and most debated — passages in the New Testament, often used in arguments against women’s leadership in the church.
As a female minister, it could have been very difficult to preach on. But to be honest, it wasn’t really. I feel confident that this text is not a blanket ban on women speaking or teaching. Rather, it affirms a woman’s right to learn and warns against domineering behaviour or usurping authority — actions that go against the spirit of Christian community for both men and women.
This week’s passage, however, is harder to preach on. While I do not believe my gender disqualifies me from church leadership, I can’t claim that my life is always above reproach, or that I consistently display all fifteen qualities Paul lists here for church leaders.
I have feared that delving into this chapter might expose me as a hypocrite. But that, of course, is an inherent risk in preaching.
So I want to begin by saying that I bring these reflections this morning, as I always do, not as someone who has reached the destination, but as someone striving toward it, and in my own flawed way leading others toward it.
But please don’t tune out, thinking these words are only for “leaders.” While Paul is instructing Timothy about church leadership, these are qualities that every follower of Jesus should aspire to. Many of you exercise leadership — in your workplaces, your homes, this community, and in this church. These words are for you, too. And as you begin the search for a new minister, these are the qualities to look for.
And so let’s pray, Your word, living God, is a lamp unto our feet and a light unto our path. We thank you that this light shines in the darkness and the darkness has not (and will not) overcome it.
In the gospel of Matthew, chapter 23 Jesus says,
The scribes and the Pharisees are seated in the chair of Moses. Therefore, do whatever they tell you, and observe it. But don’t do what they do, because they don’t practice what they teach. They tie heavy loads that are hard to carry and put them on people’s shoulders, but they themselves aren’t willing to to move them.
This verse came to mind as I reflected on 1 Timothy 3. I like to imagine that it was also on Paul’s mind as he wrote this letter. While that’s unlikely — Paul probably never read Matthew — the issue is the same.
For Paul (as for Jesus), character mattered. The way people lived — especially those in leadership — mattered. He wanted to ensure that the leaders of this new, fragile church were not people who failed to practice what they preached.
Sadly, Paul’s concern has proven justified. The stories are endless — of church leaders, both well-known and obscure, who were gifted preachers but whose lives did not reflect the gospel they proclaimed.
And it’s not just a church problem. We see this same failure of integrity in politics, business, sport, and every corner of society.
But when it happens in the church, it’s especially damaging. Too often, out of fear, self-protection, but even good intentions — such as the desire to be forgiving or to spread the gospel — the church has looked the other way. Paul warns Timothy, and us, not to do that. The call to grace should not lower our expectations of Christ like leadership.
So, let’s look at what this leadership should look like,
This is a trustworthy saying: “If someone aspires to be a church leader, he desires an honorable position.” So a church leader must be a man whose life is above reproach.
Now, because it says “a man,” this verse also has often been used to exclude women from leadership. But following on from last week’s reflection — in which we saw women serving as leaders in both Jesus’ and Paul’s ministries — I don’t believe we can make that assumption.
In both Greek and English, man can refer to a male individual or to humanity in general — as in Genesis: “So God created mankind in His own image; in the image of God He created them — male and female He created them.”
Or it may simply be that in that time and place, all church leaders were men. That doesn’t mean women were meant to be excluded forever.
The focus here is not gender, but character.
He must be faithful to his wife. He must exercise self-control, live wisely, and have a good reputation.
Some translations say, “the husband of one wife.” Polygamy was common then — and, seems to be making a bit of a comeback. But this practice, which primarily disadvantages the vulnerable, was not affirmed by Paul.
Yet I think Paul is saying more than “have one spouse.” He’s calling leaders to faithfulness — to integrity and devotion within marriage. Faithfulness isn’t just about “not cheating” or avoiding adultery as the bible would put it, it’s about presence, trust, and care. When we talk about being faithful to God, we mean more than “not worshiping idols” — we mean spending time with God, trusting God, surrendering to God’s will. That same deep commitment should mark our human relationships too.
He must exercise self-control, live wisely, have a good reputation, practise hospitality, be able to teach. He must not be a heavy drinker or be violent. He must be gentle, not quarrelsome, and not love money.
This almost speaks for itself. But I think qualities like gentleness, hospitality, and self-control are undervalued in leaders today. We tend to admire leaders who are loud, assertive, charismatic, and “strong.” Yet Paul’s vision of leadership is quiet strength — leadership that is steady, humble, and kind.
And this passage gives an emphatic “no” to any kind of violence or bullying — whether in the home or in the church. Losing one’s temper or intimidating others has no place in Christian leadership.
Nor is there room for the celebrity pastor — for the kind of ministry that amasses wealth, power, and fame. Paul’s vision is for servants, not superstars.
He must manage his own family well, having children who respect and obey him. For if a man cannot manage his own household, how can he take care of God’s church?
We should be careful not to interpret this as saying all church leaders must have families. Singleness is not disqualifying. But for those who do have families, Paul reminds them that their homes matter.
Family and home life have at times been neglected by Christian leaders. We have valued leaders who have put the church first and family second. But it is important for Christian leaders, of both genders, to be involved in the life of their families. Church leadership should not come at the cost of loving and nurturing those closest to us.
A church leader must not be a new believer, because he might become proud, and the devil would cause him to fall.
This is another reminder of the danger of pride. To all of us, all the time, but especially church leaders. Pride is deceptive. It is a subtle yet destructive force that convinces us that we are self-sufficient, that we’re above correction, that we’re immune to failure. Pride ultimately separates us from God and from others as it prevents us from acknowledging that we are not in fact self-made. We need God and each other in a whole lot of ways that we do not want to admit.
CS Lewis wrote (and I have quoted this before but it is so good, that I am quoting it again)
“Pride gets no pleasure out of having something, only out of having more of it than the next man [sic]. We say that people are proud of being rich, or clever, or good looking, but they are not. They are proud of being richer, or cleverer, or better looking than others. If everyone becomes equally rich, or clever, or good looking there would be nothing to be proud about. It is the comparison that makes you proud: the pleasure of being above the rest.
It is pride which has been the chief cause of misery in every nation and every family since the world began. . . pride always means enmity. And not only between man and man, but enmity to God.
In God you come up against something which is in every respect immeasurably superior to yourself. Unless you know God as that, you do not know God. As long as you are proud you cannot know God at all. A proud man is always looking down on things and people and as long as you are looking down you cannot see something that is above you.”
Also, people outside the church must speak well of him so that he will not be disgraced and fall into the devil’s trap.
This matters. Christians — and especially church leaders — cannot live in a bubble, speaking only to ourselves. We must be able to relate to people outside the church as well.
In the same way, deacons must be well respected and have integrity. They must not be heavy drinkers or dishonest with money. 9 They must be committed to the mystery of the faith now revealed and must live with a clear conscience.
I love that phrase — committed to the mystery of the faith. What does it mean? It means acknowledging that, this side of eternity, we will never fully understand everything. The faith we hold is weirder, wilder, and more wonderful than we can comprehend — and that’s okay. In fact it is good.
And what is this mystery?
Christ was revealed in a human body and vindicated by the Spirit.
He was seen by angels and announced to the nations.
He was believed in throughout the world and taken to heaven in glory.
And so may we live lives — and offer leadership — that reflect that mystery to the world.
I will leave you with that to ponder while we sing.
